Journal entry #1: The Moment Everything Changed

What it's like to first receive diagnosis with breast cancer?

I often reflect on what it was like to first learn about my diagnosis with breast cancer. What was that moment like? What was I feeling and thinking?

New Year’s Day, 2021. I was already planning the year ahead. With my 39th birthday just around the corner, it hit me: this would be my last year in my 30s. Should I go big? Throw a wild, unforgettable bash to celebrate the decade closing out? Or keep it simple, a cozy dinner with close friends, easing into the milestone ahead?

Then suddenly, everything shattered.

Like a bomb dropping from a clear blue sky, my world changed with five words I will never forget: You have stage 4 cancer.

Life has a way of catching up to you when you least expect it. One moment, you’re celebrating, planning, dreaming. The next, you’re calculating time in ways you never imagined.

When I learned about my diagnosis, I felt shock, disbelief, and fear wash over me. My mind raced: What does this mean for my future? How will I face this physically and emotionally?

There was a deep sense of vulnerability: as if my body had suddenly become unfamiliar territory. I felt anxiety, but also resolve. While it all sounds devastating, almost like the end, for me, that moment became a reckoning. A moment to fight for the most important thing: myself.

Continue reading about my journey on my blog and Cancer Advocate page.