Journal entry #2: My Body, My Identity, My Reflection

Read Journal Entry #1: The Moment Everything Changed >

My world turned upside down with four words I never expected to hear: You have breast cancer.

Time stopped. The ground beneath me disappeared. The word “cancer” carried a weight I wasn’t prepared for: a weight that became part of my reality overnight.

Breast cancer deeply affected my connection to my body, my breasts, and my sense of self. The metastasis to my bones led to two major bone transplant surgeries. I went from having what I considered a gorgeous body: 118 pounds, 5’4”, thick long hair, and a face I recognized, to someone I barely knew in the mirror. My clothes didn’t fit. My thick hair was gone. I now live with continuous treatment.

I became hyper-aware of my physicality. Every change, every sensation felt significant. My breasts, which once symbolized femininity and identity, took on a complex new meaning. I grappled with feelings of loss, discomfort, and anger. It was difficult to reconcile my self-image with what I was experiencing internally and externally.

And yet, through that loss, I began to build a new relationship with my body: one rooted not in appearance, but in endurance.

Continue reading about my journey on my blog and Cancer Advocate page.